Bitter Words. ♥

too close for comfort.

mj got high with my shades-.-

sexy lady, cover me! (:

hide & don't seek. (:

i was really annoyed-.- hurr.

right so i've caught some movies-

enchanted, beowulf & fred claus.

someone pls explain to me the ending of beowulf thank you very much.

hahh jolie is totally sizzling yo.

& enchanted got me laughing for 2 whole hours my stomach ached like abc.

fred claus was just totally lame-ly retarded.

hurr.

out with g & sei & mj & m & yadayada & so on so on

& i had some shopping trips- double yay (:

oh & i still haven't found a job yet-.=

hahh see the slow progress.

i've a feeling i'l just be wasting the damn holidays away la.

tskkk.

no no cannot if i can't find a job i shall go for some course.

hmmm excellent idea yes? yeah totally. ((:

upcoming-

30 days of night, brats & the tattooist.

in which two of them are horror shows.

surprised? i am too.

& you said, you're not sure how much is the right amount to give,

so you'l just keep giving.

you asked, why don't i try to give others a chance.

now i know the answer.

cos i know it'l end up hurting everyone, cos maybe,

maybe you're too good for me.

i don't know how to speak up to tell you this,

but i think it's better you know now than later.

i really, really, really enjoy your company.

& i really really really appreciate it.

but don't you think it's best we remain as friends?

cos friends, can never scar each other's heart.

i hope after you read this, if you even know this is to you-

you'd really think about it.

y'know, i've not cried for someone else in a while.

but last night, when i thought of you,

i couldn't hold back the tears:/

i just can't hold you on like that anymore.

first, i don't even know how much i can trust in your words & says.

second, i need to stop hiding & pushing my thoughts away & be selfish.

it's not fair to you.

i want it to be fair to you, do you understand?

i want you to know what exactly you are doing.

& i want you, to clear your head.

i don't want you to waste your time,

when i know that there won't be any outcome, for you.

so there, finally.

do you hate me now?

seriously, i don't want to lose a friend, but if it's hard for you to face me,

then go ahead & ignore me for the rest of my lifetime.

i wish you well, you've really been the bestmate ever.

it'l be difficult to maybe not hear your voice around & all.

but i'l respect your decision.

& lastly, i'm so, so, so very sorry. :(

totally not in any mood right now.

i'm off to, idk.

goodbye.

Cheng
9:30 AM

Saturday, November 24, 2007 ♥

it's okay if you hate me:/

'who are you thinking of right now?'
'if you believe me, which is up to you, but i'm telling you it's the truth- no one.'
'yeah? fine. are you okay? are you sick? did you see the doctor?'
'no la. i'm fine. totally alright.'
'hmmm. you sound like you've sth to tell me.'
'wellllll...y'know, actually-'
'what's wrong?'
'hmmm.. aiyah it's nothing la. ignore it. hahh'
'say-.-'
'gosh don't talk like that pls. it's really nothing. tian it's late we should sleep! nighttttts!'
'......'
'eh. ehhhhhhhhhh!'
'are you tired?'
'hai. honestly, yes. i had a long day. sorry mans:/'
'okay okay, go get some sleep yeah? sweet dreams sexy.'
'ha. ha. very funny-.- you too.'
'i'm serious. (:'
'nights la-.- talk so much-.-'

okay so being me, i couldn't get out what i wanted to say.
so now how?
how how?
i wanna work, as fast as possible.
i wanna reach home at 12 midnight everyday.
i wanna be too busy for it all.
i'm really selfish, & i hate myself for that.
i might very likely be just using you y'know, even i myself isn't sure.
so why should you, how could you.?
i don't want to go through it all again,
or to have you go through what i went through.
it's horrible.
& I really didn’t expect things to go down this way.

thank you for always making me laugh, for cheering me up when i'm down, for making my day, for all your little surprises, for listening to all my nonsense, for always being there when i cry, when i most needed someone, for doing everything for me.
but i'm afraid i can't, & it's got nothing to do with you.

do you get it?
god i ought to be shot, right about now :(
i'm not feeling very fantastic, at all.

i'm off, to maybe commit suicide-.=
bye.

Cheng
12:50 PM

Friday, November 23, 2007 ♥

another.?

HI THERE.

i'm damn tired now due to
towning with g for the whole freaking day,
walking ard & ard & shopping like nobody's business=.=
but!
i'm generally HAPPY cos we were totally laughing like nobody's business as well.
hahahhah & i swear g is super HORRIBLE okayyy!
hurrrrr.
& we went job-hunting & g got malu-ed a million times
cos i kept making her ask everything AHAHAHA.

okay so we've got some applications in &
we'l stay home & wait for their notices.
hehh we really hope we can get that job at ____!
i'l pray real hard,
call us, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
we don't really mind the pay la the main thing is,
the fact that we'l be working.
ahaha yeah a bit failure la but eh,
it's our first job & we're excited. :x
hurrrrrr.

i'l be posting for g in a minute-.-
hahahha this is so retarded la that lazy thing-.-
impossible. hurr!

meeting dee for lunch tmr. (((:

my hair's been growing really fast
it's like really, really, really long.
mom says it's bcos i don't use my brains much.
totally nonsense la-.-

& i talked almost the whole night last night & slept from 5-10.?
i've been sleeping real late since these few days due to late night calls
& sth's here which i don't think is what i want,
but i don't really know what to do, or even what to say.
how?
gosh, i really shouldn't get myself invovled in yet another-
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
i'm freaking bloody irritated with myself la.
WHAT, IS, MY, PROBLEM?!
oh god & it's another decision.

i'm off, to think & work out a way://
bye.

Cheng
1:42 PM

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 ♥

covered.

OKAY so i totally just posted for g,
& now it's back to my own blog-.-
ahahha.
alrights so there are a few changes-

firstly i might not be flying anymore cos dad's kinda wanting to stay here instead. ((:
not confirmedd but okay i'm crossing my fingers, hurr!
secondly school's postings will be submitted soon,
i'l probably end up in cj for first month.
okay god bless let me like it there:/
thirddddddlyyyyy, i'm looking for a job to earn extra $$$
hahha yes yes & i don't wanna do part time modelling cos,
i just don't wanna feel like a clothes hanger-.-
(uh sorry models:/)
though it's quite interesting to do shots & you earn quite abit.
hmmmmmm.

alrights so me & g are planning to get a very ideal job,
& here's our short & low criteria-
1. good pay (:
2. an easy job
3. nearer to our houses (uh so best in town la)
4. can slack that type.
5. not tiring.
6. not long hours.
7. don't need brain cells.
8. can take leaves.
9. must be interesting.
10. can have worker's discount. (AHAHA BEST!:D)

okay i just posted this list on both our blogs-.-
hahahha so yeah anyone has got any suggestions,
or recommendations,
please text me or g.
greatly appreciated & God blessssss! (:

hurr!
so i'm currently very busy with a few things-
i'm still on k dramas, i'm reading this very fantastic book,
i'm looking out for the darling psp that i really really want,
i'm looking for a job, & i'm busy when i'm at home playing cards with mom.
she's a complete loser at it, AHAHA.
i'm trying my best not to gain so much weight,
i'm wanting to go for this course,
& believe it or not,
i'm starting to EXERCISE(:O)
cos i really need to burn the stuffs in my body:/
& most of all, i love shopping & movie trips. (:
hehhheh.

alrights so i'm off to, spend time with KD. (:
muacks, take care & byeeee!

Cheng
12:40 PM

Monday, November 19, 2007 ♥

everything comes to an end.

from days ago i can't really rmb which day but yeah.

so Os is over & so is grad's day & prom.

so everything has officially ended & there's gonna be a new start.

cool.

.............................

individuals who need to take their own journey.

sounds familiar?

i was catching up with yan online the other day.

& she totally made me laugh and cry all at once-.-

okay idk what else to say my mind's blank from lack of sleep,

thanks to dee's korean dramas-.=

i'm off, take care & bye.

it's when i tell myself everyday that i don't give a damn.

when i hear songs & agrees that hard love is best let go.

when i keep myself so busy & tired in the day i collapse onto the bed every night with my brain too worked out to think abt anything anymore.

when i catch up with loved ones & feel so contented.

when i finishes one thick dairy book almost every week.

when ppl tell me things that only make me think how right my decision had been.

when i brainwash heartaches away, when i tell myself it doesn't hurt.

when tears come with k dramas.

i'm still in search, but i think this should be the right way.

i'm not saying it's not tough, just that i'm getting too used to it, & i'm strong enough to live up to my own decision.

cos i know how it's better this way, cos i've learnt to be rationalistic.

Cheng
3:40 AM

Monday, November 12, 2007 ♥

the unexpected & laughables.

I TELL YOU.
KHO RUIWEI IS OHMY TIAN FUNNY.
& SHE MEETS THE WEIRDEST PEOPLE ON PLANET EARTH.
HAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH.

'byebye jiejieeeee! love love!'
'i begging for ______ mah that's why delay until so long.'
'shhh, don't tell anyone.'
'plsss.... i very bored lehhhh.' :'(((
HAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAH.
duper classic sentences & more. omgg. hahha.
okayokay shh, inside joke. ((:

& i totally laughed till i cried yesterday.
it's freaking omg O.O"'
the way she started telling me was like,
kho: CHENG! i don't know if i should laugh or cry.
hahhah so crazy right.
hahhahhahha. totally mans.
kho, relax. we'l take revenge & have fun, alrights?
i bet we'l laugh so much our stomach might give way.
hahahhh. (((:

so met up with mj & jess yesterday. (:
strolling around town & they were having some 'spot the heros' thingy at cine.
& mj was totally ecstatic about it hahhahh.
so we had to scan the whole of cine to find those five heros ppl who were not exactly very hard to find la thank God-.-
they looked so out of place only idiots won't be able to spot them pls-.-
plus, idk what's the outcome can they weren't even moving la.
hahha so dumb.
like that anyone could have collected the posters & whatever they were giving.
hahh why didn't they just give them out to any passers-by la.
mean the same anyways-.=
hahhahhahha oh wells.
& there was this free hairstyle-ing thingy outside cine
i can't believe there were actually so many ppl in queue mans.
the small van looked like it's gonna burst any second.
hahaha.
shop shop but didn't buy anything wasn't in the mood.
hurr.

i feel fat:/
i've gained weight:/
humphf.
& so smart cheng decided to walk from hereen all the way to far east to meet mom & dad after i left mj.
i know, not exactly very long d but aiyah, at least i walked-.-
was hoping the walk could burn some stuff in my body-.-
hurhurr.
then waited for a villion years for parents la they were late, tskkk.
but nvm since mom wanted to bring me shopping i was generous enough to forgive & forget.
HAHAHH.
guess where mom's perfect shopping destiny was?
yeah, vivo-.=
give the girl a prizeeeee.
hahaa.
aye well but shopped all the same.
shopping with dad is totally fantastic. (:
when i try sth on & mom doesn't like it,
i just need to look (very sadly) at dad, and DING!
strike it off the shopping list.
:DDDDD

mom's growing to like vivo alot.
used to be,
mom: let's go to vivo today for a change, i'm sick of taka & town.
cheng: err then let's stay home. (:
mom: fine town-.-
but now, since dad's here,
mom: let's go to vivo today for shopping. (turns to dad): aren't you sick of shopping in town too?
dad: anything, vivo's new right?
cheng: err yeah but not nice to go one la.
mom: who sayy! i like it there, i'm sure your dad too, (turns to dad) righttt?
dad: (never cares abt where mom & i shop at) anything, vivo then since you like it. (:
mom: okayy! (:
cheng: ! (grumbles) :/

NOT FANTASTIC, AT ALL-.-
hurr!
okays i'm off to, call Cousin L for updates on sis-in-law.
i've decided to buggggggggg him like abc until he give me an excellent reason why he ain't trying a patch.
humphf!
hahahha wish me luck yo.
take care & byeeeeeeee!

Cheng
11:11 AM

Sunday, November 11, 2007 ♥

we're empty.

meant to go out yesterday but didn't. :(
& Cousin L called! :DDD
after a cillion years like, omg finally! hurr!
& we had a 3 hour plus longgggg chat to catch up with each other's life.

cheng: i misssssssssss youuuu! :'(
Cousin L: haha yeah & you didn't bother calling me the whole of october?-.-
cheng: but you didn't call toooooooo! :'(
Cousin L: aiyah. but bball captain gets busy at times mah(x
cheng: -.-proud idiott. so you have bball don't care abt me anymore right! tskkk. hahha. oh so how's it going with my future sis-in-law? ((x
Cousin L: emmmmm.
cheng: omg no don't tell me..
Cousin L: yeah. :/
cheng: how come! she was niceeeee! she took me shopping ehh!
Cousin L: -.= you're only saying she's nice cos she bought you that whole shopping package idiott-.-
cheng: absolutely Not. she's nice & pretty & tall & your type & everything you wanted & best thing that's ever happened to you, right? at least that's what you told me the last time-.-
Cousin L: yeah but you see, best thing ever, can hurt you the most too.
Cousin L: she ended it though. i think i can understand how she feels. even if she didn't say a word. haii. it's alright you won't understand la. wait till a few years later when you experience it yourself. then you'l know how it feels.
cheng: who said i don't-.-
Cousin L: aiyah your that pri sch r/s doesn't count la! -.-
cheng: i also know-.-
Cousin L: !! what's up with my little sis huh?
cheng: -.- don't act big. you're only 1 year plus older-.-
Cousin L: hahha so which lucky guy was it? hurry hurry.
cheng: hahhhha. did i say anything? no right-.- don't be an idiot la-.-
Cousin L: ehh hurry tell me! haha. i tell you Everything okay. every girl. so it's only fair you tell me abt that guy. (:
cheng: DON'T HAVE LA-.- lie to you also got no money-.-
Cousin L: ohh so broke already huh? are you okay?
cheng: HAHHA you're the biggest moron ever. continue with your own fairytale la thank you-.-
Cousin L: hai alrights then. tell me when you're ready to. you know you will. (: but get over him if he's not worth it. i'm sure he's not all That great. need me to beat him up just say. i'l bring the whole bball team over. (:
cheng: HAHHA if there even Is a he, then we talk-.-
Cousin L: you know it bestt. (:
cheng: han na han na-.-

my cousin is an idiot-.-
hahha the biggest one i've ever seen.
i've realised there're many idiots around me.
hahha no wonder i'm turning into one too! :O

ohhh i still need to go shopping la-.-
prom stuff,
AIYOH i'm so lazy.
hurr!
omg this winter when i fly back, no one will buy me free stuff anymore!
:(((((((
hahh Cousin L hurry patch back with my sis-in-law leh.
i'm sure you stillllllll loveeeeeee herrrrrrrrr.
right? right! you guys belong tgt laaaa.
HAHAH. xD

monday still have papers,
but it feels like O's is over.
how to settle down to study now la-.-
tskkk.
haiya cannot cannot.
have to do well.
rahh! omg stress again?!
TIAN AR.
brainwash me-.-

songs:
sth that i already know-bsb
never had a dream come true- S Club 7 (omg old!:O)
empty- the click five
time after time- quietdrive
the heart never lies- McFly

i'm off to, emo-.- HAHHA KIDDING LA.
to watch my beloved shows. (:
take care & byee.

Cheng
5:00 AM

Thursday, November 08, 2007 ♥

tattoo.

yesterday,
towning with sei (:
watched the game plan, shopped.
such a retarded & LONG show :D
hurr two hours of freezing=.=
hahhha oh wells.

oh yes & sei is totally an IDIOT i tell you.
we went dong dong & she took a million years to choose her machine & finally put her coins inside, turned & waited,
but nothing came out.
so we were saying eh how come so weird & started to check check the dong machine & realised-
the machine was empty!
HAHAHH i laughed like abc la so funny okayy!
then then we walked out waiting for the traffic light,
& the light just turned red.
so obviously the opposite light turned green right,
& sei started crossing the road?!?!?!
i was omg shocked so i hurry hurry pulled her back just before one car bang her down & she says:
huhh but the light's greeennnnnnn!!! D:
cheng: sei our light is red you idiott! D:
sei: (points at opposite light) BUTTTT THAT'SSSS GREEEEENNN! D':
cheng: 0.0 !
HAHAHHAHHHAHA.
seiyu is an Complete Idiot i tell you-.-
hurr!

today,
morning daddy came back!
surprise surprise! (:
so we've been spending much of time tgt & to patch up our fights,
(he flew in cos he wanted to patch up with me first before it gets tough & tense when i fly over!)
did i say i'm a good daughter & i love my daddy?
cos i am proud to be one & yes i really do. (:

much of life's looking up,
i'l just keep my head up high & be happy.
That’s the me i’ve got to be. (:

ops, going out soon.
i'm off, take care & byeebye!

left just an impression; but keep it in & promise to never forget.

Cheng
7:22 AM